Tales of the Gun
by D. M. Evans
Summary: While she loves him, Roy does occasionally tempt Riza to shoot him.


1Tales of the Gun: 5 Times Riza was Tempted to Aim Her Gun at Roy

D M Evans

Disclaimer - Not Mine, all rights belong to Hiromu Arakawa and subsidaries

Time Line - Manga verse with spoilers for issue #62 in ficlet #5

Rating - FRT

Pairing - Roy/Riza

Summary - While she loves him, Roy does tempt Riza to shoot him on occasion.

Author's Note - these were written for a livejournal '5 things' challenge for Chelle86

1. Fear

The first time Riza was tempted to draw her gun on Roy was the only time she honestly thought she could kill him. Fear licked along her spine as she watched Ishbal burn. The dry wind reeked of burning flesh, saturated with the screams of the dying. Roy looked like a god, dark against the orange of the flames. What had she done? Her back had caused this. This was what her father feared. She was damned for this.

Even before she knew it, the gun was in her hand, pointed at his back. Her finger trembled against the sun-heated trigger. Only later did she understand that it wasn't duty that stayed her hand. It was love.

2. How to Break a Phone Fetish

Her trigger finger itched every time that damn Hughes called. Not that Riza didn't love the guy. He was one of the few people who could bring a grin to Mustang's face but really those two could chatter and gossip like two old women hanging clothes out on the backyard line. Everyone knew officers were lazy. Hughes and Mustang seemed out to prove that point.

Did they ever talk about work during those hour long phone calls? Did they even attempt to put in an honest's day work? How did they find so much nonsense to talk about every day? Mustang was completely oblivious to the world as he stared out the window. He only turned when he heard the cocking of the gun. His eyes widened.

"Put down the phone. Sign your reports and be thankful I'm not the enemy," she said.

Mustang gulped and complied. "Yes, ma'am."

3. Introducing Elizabeth

Lunch Hour could be the most unbearable time of the day if Mustang and the others decided to act like dogs. Today they all needed leashes. Mustang was in the anteroom with his aides and Hughes, who was in town on temporary duty, sat on Havoc's desk, roaring with laughter as he congratulated Mustang on something. Havoc and Breda looked at the colonel as if ready to deify him.

Riza stopped in the doorway and realized Roy must have thought she wouldn't get through the filing in his office so fast. She was never meant to overhear him. The bastard was busy recounting their sex life in full detail to his captive audience. See if she ever combined whipping cream, fresh berries and warmed honey for him again. Oh, he was not telling them about the creative uses for a feather duster! She was going to shoot him.

Riza turned around and sat in the colonel's chair, gun in hand. When he came back into his office, she leveled it at his crotch. Roy's eyes were so wide she didn't know how they didn't fall out of his head.

"Hawkeye?" The color left his face. "Did you overhear us?"

"How could I miss you telling everyone about..." It took effort not to pull the trigger.

"Me and Elizabeth? Well, they sort of expect it." Roy said uneasily.

Her brow wrinkled. "Elizabeth?"

"Yeah, Elizabeth."

"How many people do you tell about your love life that you had to invent a pseudonym for these adventures?" Riza knew it was the wrong question to ask. Upon his sheepish admission, she imagined pulling the trigger.

4. Sickly Amusing

As Riza unlocked the door to her apartment, Roy snickered behind her. She yanked him inside. It had been a long, stressful and just plain weird night and the sound of Mustang giggling like a schoolgirl was just too much for her. "What?"

"A dead serial killer has the hots for you." Roy snickered some more.

Riza shuddered at the memory of Barry's all too obvious crush. "Never mention that again."

"Oh come on." Roy tossed his jacket on a chair and bent down to scratch Hayate's head. "That's funny."

"Roy, it is not funny. It's disturbing. You didn't have to sit there with evil soul bound armor all night. Alphonse makes soul-bound armor cute. Barry is...he kept wanting to cut people up or to get me naked. Do you know how unnerving that is?"

"Nothing my queen can't handle." Roy pulled her into an embrace. His lips met hers then quivered again with suppressed laughter.

"Roy," she said lowly in warning.

"So, how does armor think it can woo a woman or is chopping his idea of foreplay?" Roy giggled then gasped as something poked his belly. "Hey aren't I the one who's supposed to be poking you with something long and hard?" His joke belied the worry in his eyes at getting stuck with the gun.

Riza jabbed him again, knowing her gun had the safety on. "Do you know how tempted I am to shoot you right now?"

5. Future Fire

Riza sat up until it was time to go work, just stroking Hayate's fur. After she told Ed all about Ishbal and what she thought the future held, Riza had tried to sleep. She had a nightmare about guns and fire and Roy's blood seeping into the ground. She woke up in a cold sweat knowing that was a glimpse of a possible future. Maybe they'd get lucky and the new, future democracy wouldn't punish the past but Riza wasn't going to bet on it.

When that future came, Riza knew she'd draw her gun on Mustang one last time. It wasn't a temptation. It was a necessity. She wouldn't let him face some slow execution, waiting for death. When the time came and he was found guilty for what had happened in Ishbal, Riza would be waiting. She would draw her gun and Roy would be dead before he knew what hit him. He wanted it that way. Of course he thought he could buy the lives of his friends by throwing himself on the pyre but she would turn her gun on herself. She had always followed him and she would make that last trip with him. After all, what was a king without his queen?


End file.
